WRITTEN ON June 21st, 2007 BY William Heath AND STORED IN Identity

Some obscure part of the great meandering tribe, a backwater called the Eyepee-esse seems to have stumbled across an ancient universal truth: that people are unique. It is now making the mistake of claiming that for its own calling in life, based on the absurd notion that people’s uniqueness is under threat. What do they mean? That we’re morphing into clones of each other? Anyway, it implies that something therefore has to be done.

It’s therefore offering a colossal financial enticement for a new member to join its priestly elite in a role they call “director of programmes”, working for all sorts of other people who must be earning similarly vast sums of money already (or if they’re not I expect they’re entitled to feel a bit miffed). It all strikes me as most misguided and slightly sinister.

Anyway, if you want the job, apply here. It might be a great opportunity to study the tribe up close, and get paid for doing it. But you’ll be entrusting your career to people who say odd things like

Everyone is unique. The Identity and Passport Service is committed to keeping it that way.

and who appear to have lost any sense of proportion or of universal human dignity.

Eyepee-Esse says they are an “equal opportunities employer” but contracts its actual headhunting out. Now, I ask you: if you were a woman with a black or Asian face would you place your career in the hands of headhunting mercenaries who call themselves “White-Head Man”? The whole thing is chillingly primitive.